I started posting my art online…

I was absolutely terrified to post anything I’ve created but I did and it has been one of the most freeing experiences.

I love art but I hate my art. Well… hate is a strong word. More like I heavily critique my own art until I’ve convinced myself it is absolutely terrible and it shouldn’t see the light of day. I’ve always had a lot of ideas in my head but every time I went to execute my thoughts onto paper it never lived up to my expectations. Due to this mindset, I don’t share my art unless it’s to close friends or family. I even struggle with that most of the time. Until recently.

I made a promise to myself that this 29th year of my life that I would try new things and stop getting in my own way. Well I wanted to share my art online. I made an Instagram specifically for this blog, and I started posting random drawings. It feels freeing but so scary. So far no mean critiques have come in but even if they do I think I’ll be okay. I think my brain has already conjured up the absolute worse comments already. Not to mention, nothing is really gaining any traction right now and I’m okay with that. Very few people are seeing this blog, and hardly anyone is seeing my art but I did it.

I did something that I was fearful of.

I also started a 30-day art challenge to post a drawing or something once a day. I may have failed three days in but it was the thought that counts, right? Yes. I did fail at a challenge that I made up for myself. That’s a very me thing to do and as much as this journey is about personal growth, old habits/procrastination dies hard. I want to do more things like this in the future when I’m not so preoccupied with life and the country being in chaos.

What I’m trying to say with my chaos ramblings is that I’ve conquered a fear and hit a goal of sharing my art. I’ve been drawing, painting, and creating more often. I think before I would get into it but be so harsh on myself I set it down. My mindset has changed. I’m actually using this goal for practice. I’m allowing myself the freedom to explore creativity without “messing up” or saying it looks bad then scrapping it. I’m posting things I thought were okay, somethings I thought were meh, and things I just didn’t like when I got finished. I even posted an unfinished piece I’ve been working on from my sister’s wedding. I realized that without the freedom of exploring and nurturing the little bit of talent I have, it’s put me behind with my skill level.

So I’m going to keep going. At this time, I don’t think I’m ready to set a goal or set standard of how many different pieces I post per week/month. I think it would cause the momentum of courage I have to faulter or shrink with putting pressure onto something so new. Maybe the more I do, the more confidence I’ll grow. That’s the hope anyway. If you want to go see the few pieces I’ve posted so far, go follow me on Instagram at quarterlightcrisis.

Thank you to anyone that sees/reads this. I didn’t relook over this one or edit anything because I feel like it cuts some of the authenticity so if it’s shit, sorry! I can’t help the way my brain conducts this operation.

Oh and don’t let fear hold you back anymore. IT’S TIME TO DO THIS DAMN THING AND LIVE LIFE!!!